[Editor's note: This is another post in the Kinda Personal category, and it's fairly long. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!]

After writing yesterday’s post about my thoughts on Dave Seah’s Groundhog Day Kickoff, I sat down with my trusty notebook and poured out my feelings on the matter of how I arrive at the conclusions that I do.

Looking at a blank page can be a trying experience!

I overcame the difficulty and just started by writing down the questions that I was thinking about answering. Based on the goals that I had set for myself over the next few months I decided to ask myself:

1. Why am I doing these things?
2. How did I reach these conclusions?
3. What makes me think that these are the best goals?
   • Am I sure that the ladder I am climbing is against the right wall?
   • Do I know what is supposed to be at the top of the ladder?
4. 

   Thanks to Hugh McLeod

   Why do I think about this cartoon so much?

5. If I was so moved by The Glass Bead Game: (Magister Ludi) A Novel
   (aff link) and Anathem
   (aff link), what have I learned and applied from them?

These are big questions and are in need of serious consideration.

Revelations Inside the Goals

In addition, while looking over my goals for February (Period 2), I noticed that I had included some goals for my job as restaurant manager, but there were no “job”-related goals in any of the other future periods. Why is this?

Is it sabotage? Fear of Failure, or of Success? Do I harbor misgivings, or wonder about its permanence? (Those answers will have to wait for another day, I fear) Otherwise the goals are straight out of my “Three Words “ for 2010: Focus, Discipline, Exercise (mental & physical). Long-term, high-value, personal development for business development – a good strategy, I think.

Much of the reading and study that I have done over the past few years has guided me toward this set of goals, in this structure. The idea, unspoken until now, is to create a platform for my products and services that allows them to mutually support each other, building upon successes and creating a passive income stream that will finance further creative efforts. The really smart (and successful) people that I pay attention to have done these things, so it only seems natural that I do something similar – in the areas of work that I am passionate about.

What is holding me back?

Another commonality about this set of goals is that they are all activities that make me the owner of my own means of production (and who doesn’t want that?). Yet somehow they keep getting put off or delayed by other commitments. Two years in a row now I have taken the plunge into working for myself, for a while, then gone ahead and accepted a full-time-plus “job” working for someone else. Filling another business-owner’s pockets with the fruits of my labor. Sure I get paid, but only so much, no matter how much effort I put into it. Or how creative I get. Or how successful it happens to be.

And it takes me away from what I truly love to do, reach out to and help you, the readers and visitors.

Why is that? The short answer is because it is hard work. The long answer would, I’m sure, fascinate a behavioral psychologist. But I am pretty sure none of you would be…

Here are some thoughts I captured after thinking about this for a while:

Step back & look at the larger picture

I am good at seeing patterns.

• My sub-conscious mind seems to put things together for me.
• I have learned to trust my intuition. But it is quite possible that I use it as a crutch.
• What I do not do is make enough use of the available tools and techniques that enhance the process.
• Sometimes I get carried away by the details.

So the answers, if they may be called that, seem to be discoverable through:

1. Taking a step back and looking at the larger picture. How does what I am doing now affect the outcome of everything else I am involved in?
2. Analyze the path between the beginning and the end state. What were the initial conditions? What is the final result? What steps took place to get there? Could there have been an alternative step that may have yielded a better result?
3. Learn to use the available tools to make this process less arduous and more profitable.
4. Share results of the analysis and solicit feedback. Iterate changes when analysis reveals high probability of a superior solution.

This will definitely take some getting used to, and will not be applicable in every situation. And I will get back to you on The Glass Bead Game and Anathem. (Seriously, read those books)

My promise to you

I will keep at it. The Doing and the Being, and intentionally maintaining an awareness of my thought-processes. I will also push back against the Resistance of that old “Lizard Brain” ( I just read a book about this, sheesh, talk about an epiphany). I feel that this is very important to me and my own growth, and I like to think that some of you reading this will learn something about yourselves or share some insights with me. We are all on this journey together, I look forward to hearing from you.

Some resources I used to create this strategy

http://chrisg.com/
http://johnhaydon.com/
http://ittybiz.com/
http://sethgodin.typepad.com/
http://copyblogger.com/
http://problogger.net/
http://chrisbrogan.com/
http://davidseah.com/
http://mark-hayward.com/blog/
http://wordsellinc.com/

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